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  • Issues
    • 2022: Ergo >
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    • 2021: Reformation >
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    • 2020: The Revival
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same color, same taste

by Margaret Wozniak
The sun and citrus are the same color 
Therefore they must have the same taste 
And I 
I am just a woman 
I am the same shade of forgotten 
As the woman who put us into space 
Margaret Hamiliton 
Margaret Wozniak 
What difference does it make 
History won't remember either of our names 

History 
Full of men 
And lacking women 
Not because we haven’t contributed 
But because we’ve been erased 
And I am so sick of being written out of the god damn narrative
Because I don’t have a Y chromosome 

I am so sick of being discredited 
Disregarded 
Like I’m nothing but the dirt that makes up the Earth
That everyone walks on but never remembers 

But I am just a woman 
I was born of that dirt 
I live in it still 
I grew up being told all the things I’m never supposed to be
“Don’t be loud” 

“Don’t be violent” 
“Don’t ever, and I mean ever, be angry” 
“You don’t have any right to be angry” 
Apparently I don’t have any right to be any of those things
Because I’ve had it great 

Relatively speaking I’ve had it great 
I can vote and own property 
I don’t belong to my husband 
I don’t even need a husband 
I can hold a job 
I can get paid 
I haven’t been killed or raped 
I know whats its like to at least feel safe 
Sometimes 
One time
Relatively speaking of course I’ve never had to suffer 
Not in the ways of the women who came before me 
But that's not to say I haven’t suffered 
Suffering and womanhood are one and the same 
Suffering makes a women 
I learned this the hard way 

I was 12 when I was hit on at a bar by a man four times my age 
I was 13 when I was followed by a man asking to go home with me 
When I was 14 when my best friends and I looked into getting tasers and pepper spray 
At every age I’ve watched helpless as I lose more and more of my body to laws and red tape I was 15 when my mom told me that boys would love my legs 
I asked her if they would love my brain 
She told me no because that they couldn’t explain 
I was 16 when my grandmother told me I would make a boy very happy one day 
I asked her if it mattered that I was happy 
She laughed and said only if you can make him happy 
I was 16 when I walked into my comp sci class to 21 men and 2 other women 
When I walked into weird looks and side eyes from my peers 
Because what the actual fuck am I doing there 
The timeline of my life is marked by all the things I was subject to 
And I was too young then to understand but I’m older now 
Old enough to understand that I was too young 
I was too young when I was told I might want to rethink my interests because STEM would not blossom for me I was too young when my best friend came crying to me because someone grabbed her skirt and ran his hand up her sleeves 
I was too young when I watched as killers and rapists walked free 
I was too young when I was told that I was defined by my features and my ability to conform to the norms that society laid out for me 
I was too young 

But I am just a woman 
This is what's expected of me 
What’s normal for me 
It’s normal to have no say over my body 
My body my choice doesn’t include women apparently 
It’s normal for me to look over my shoulder when I’m alone at night 
For me to check under my car and in the backseat 
It’s normal for me to edit what I say 
For me to be frowned upon for trying to do something great 
To be laughed at for daring to be brave 
It’s normal for me to think myself unlovable because I’ve never had a date 
It’s normal for me to cry myself to sleep because for every struggle I’ve had someone’s had it worst
​And that breaks my heart because no one deserves to suffer everyday 

But I am just a woman
I am just a woman 
And I am angry 
I am so incredibly angry 
I want to set the world on fire 
Change it so it’s finally the right shape 
I want to tear the sun out of the sky with my bare hands Peel it like an orange and taste it 
Just so I can prove that the same color is not the same taste I am just a woman 
And that shouldn’t mean anything 
But it does 
And I have to live that kind of life everyday 
Because I am just a woman

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