I wouldn’t give up my scars for anything. 

And the reality is that scars still need to heal. 
I was broken 
Powerless 
Afraid 
Alone 
Chained 
Exhausted. 

I expected healing to be immediate.
​Painless 
And freeing 

Healing is more beautiful 
than could possibly be imagined
​And while it isn’t linear 
There is much I take for granted. 

I used to be a broken girl, 
Ignoring my intelligence. 
I used to be afraid of joy, 
And tried to avoid my own healing.
And now i have remembered what I love,
And re-discovered my motivation
​My past selves have lifted me up,
And I am a beautiful 
Combination. 

There is a Young Woman that I know
She is a broken vessel. 
She shatters on the ground. 
Her pieces cannot be put together
She accepts her fate 
“And now,” She thinks 
“There is 
No 
Hope 
For Me.” 

In search of redemption 
she stumbles through life 
She needs healing, 
But isn’t sure where to find it. 

She thought she had discovered
​The solution to her pain 
In a new relationship 
Pure, simple, and plain. 

She is in love 
She has no control 
She seeks peace 
She seeks perfection 

One day she sat quietly 
On her bedroom floor 
Perhaps, she considered, 
I can’t fight alone anymore. 

There is a young woman I know,
She asked for help for the first time
Although it wasn’t immediate, 
Healing is sublime. 

The pain was beyond imagining.
She didn’t know how to put herself back
​together. 
She floated through life, letting it pass her
by. 
But she accepted her role 
And began fighting. 

She sought help in the form of love
She found help in the form of kindness
She found help in the work she put forward
To rid herself of her blindness. 

I know a young woman, 
Who focuses on the good 
In an effort to avoid 
Having thoughts nobody should.

​My eyes once were dull, avoiding the greater scheme, 
But as I focus on what I love, they sparkle and they gleam. 
I am healing, slowly but surely, and fighting hard 
To boost my mental health. 
​
I love to see the way people smile
When doing something truly worth their while 
Things that bring them joy bring me joy as well. 
The beauty of assuredness brings me hope. 

That’s when my world began again,
Seeing joy in little things 
Like the way the rain sounds, 
And the first signs of spring. 
I’ve noticed the beauty of the world around me too much to behold 
There’s so much more to learn 
Incentive to grow old. 

I love the winter, 
The sound of falling snow, 
Peace and quiet in the world 
More than I’ve ever known. 

The combination of strange flavors
Of Chocolate and Chili Powder, 
Remind me of the benefits 
Of joy and sheer power.

​Waking up early in the morning,
Seeing the sun begin to rise 
Watching the world wake up 
Looking at it through new eyes 

I discovered the joy of presents
Of planning based on hints 
And watching the recipient 
As they enjoy their gifts. 

I love conversations of intelligence,
Shared brains working at a higher speed
As greater understanding 
Together we begin to seek. 

This little girl is small, 
But I have already felt 
The highs and lows of mortality
​And this earth where so many have dwelt 
​
Once Upon a Time, 
A little girl began to heal, 
She understood the joys of life 
And the reasons that it’s real. 

I wouldn't give up my scars for anything. 

And the reality is that while I aspire to be like my past 
Young 
Powerful 
Excited 
Naive 
Free 
Motivated 

I have new scars 
New pain 
And new experiences 

So I live with an expectation 
Too high to fulfill 
To become as my past self 
​Is something no one could do 
​
I used to be a little girl, 
bright eyed and intelligent 
I used to be a powerful young woman,
Amazing at completion 
And now, I have neither the joy 
Nor the motivation 
Of either of my past selves 
We wish for a combination 
But I find myself without. 
​
There is a Young Woman that I know
​She laughs every day 
Despite her joy and eagerness 
When no one can see 
Her head hangs low and 
No one knows 
The depths 
Of 
Pain 
In Me

​There is no need to study
The content comes naturally 
It all makes sense as she learns it
​Her identity is her grades 

Her sleep is non-existent 
There is no rest for weary eyes 
“Just a little bit further” she whispers
She can see through her lies. 

She has straight As 
She has a perfect life 
She is in love 
She is in control. 

This young woman sits quietly 
on her bedroom floor 
As her head hangs down she thinks “I can't do this anymore.” 

There is a young woman I know
She's emotionally destroyed 
She can do anything you can think of
But she does so without joy 

My eyes are sparkling again, but now the sparkles are from tears 
This little girl is happy 
Happier than me 
I wonder how that floated away 
Lost to all the years 
​

She knows nothing of depression
She knows nothing of anxiety 
She hasn't heard of suffering 
And she doesn't know of disloyalty 

I know a little girl, 
Who smiles innocently 
She looks so hopeful 
She doesn’t know what happened recently.

My eyes used to sparkle with some knowing gleam 
And now they are dull, avoiding the greater scheme. 
I am healing, slowly but surely, and fighting hard 
To come off strong 

I have been seeking help, and still it's hard to find,
The deep and dark recesses in the shadows of my mind.
I used to create like breathing, and now I lack the skill. 
There is a block in my capacity, perhaps there’s no hope. 

And that’s when her world ended,
Although the end had always been near
This time, her world truly shattered.
And she was aware, for the first time, of her fear. 
She reaches for a paper, 
And discovers her fingertips 
No longer hold the beauty 
Of worlds that used to exist. 

One day, 
As she sits on her bedroom floor,
She tries to create a universe 
Like she once did before. 

The spring fades from her step 
She wanders through life 
Seeking her purpose 
And running into more strife

She became aware of the rotation of the earth,
And also, the state of the universe.
The world began to crystalize, 
And I ran out of ideas for this verse. 

Once Upon A Time, 
A little girl began to learn 
She sought a greater understanding
And the world began to turn. 

Her eyes gleamed with intelligence,
Her brain worked at a higher speed.
Still, not everything made sense,
And so greater understanding she began to seek 

This little girl was small, 
But everytime she spoke 
A masterpiece was building 
A painting, stroke by stroke. 

Once Upon a time 
There was a little girl 
Her eyes shined brightly 
As She beheld the world.