This is what it feels like to play a note perfectly: It’s like fitting in the last piece of a puzzle It’s like opening your fridge and it being full of pizza rolls It’s like swishing a half-court shot It’s like getting 100% on a test you didn’t study for It’s like finding $20 on the ground It’s like burning all your papers from the last school year It’s like when the scariest teacher compliments you It’s like when substitute teachers pronounce your whole name correctly It’s like when you used to get 11 likes on your Instagram post It’s like Thor entering the Wakandan Battle It’s like getting your package on the 4th business day It’s like helping the teacher because the sound in the video isn’t working It’s like jumping in an outdoor pool after a workout It’s like playing pool and getting all your balls in before the other person’s turn It’s like watching the last pin fall for the strike It’s like playing one song on two phones at the same exact time It’s like not having any acne It’s like having a perfect schedule on the first day of school It’s like winning your freaking fantasy matchup by 1 last point
But this is what it feels like to play a note a few cents sharp or flat: It’s like finding out that the last piece of the puzzle was eaten by your dog It’s like opening your fridge and it being full of sticky, spilled orange juice It’s like missing the half-court shot after it bounces on the rim for a minute It’s like getting 100% on a test you didn’t study for but getting accused of cheating It’s like finding that $20 but the person comes back and says that it’s theirs It’s like burning all your papers, including your birth certificate that you used for show-and-tell It’s like when the scary teacher says that you suck you right after they compliment you It’s like when your real teacher still can’t get your name after a whole interim It’s like getting those 11 likes, but no comments It’s like Thor’s epic entrance, but The Avengers still losing It’s like getting the notification that your package is coming, but you don’t get it for another month It’s like “helping” the teacher but the sound still doesn’t work It’s like working out in the winter, so you can’t jump into that outdoor pool It’s like pooling the 8 ball in before you’re allowed to It’s like watching the last pin bobble around but stick straight back up It’s like getting the phones and the song half a second off from each other It’s like getting your first pimple It’s like having the busiest counselor and not being able to change your schedule until the second week And it’s like losing by 48 points in the first week of fantasy freakin football Out of tune notes suck, and since practicing sucks too, I’d just quit.