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    • 2022: Ergo >
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    • 2021: Reformation >
      • Writing
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      • Performance
    • 2020: The Revival
  • Contact

Bro, Music Sucks

by Earl Bae
This is what it feels like to play a note perfectly:
It’s like fitting in the last piece of a puzzle
It’s like opening your fridge and it being full of pizza rolls
It’s like swishing a half-court shot
It’s like getting 100% on a test you didn’t study for
It’s like finding $20 on the ground
It’s like burning all your papers from the last school year
It’s like when the scariest teacher compliments you
It’s like when substitute teachers pronounce your whole name correctly
It’s like when you used to get 11 likes on your Instagram post
It’s like Thor entering the Wakandan Battle
It’s like getting your package on the 4th business day
It’s like helping the teacher because the sound in the video isn’t working
It’s like jumping in an outdoor pool after a workout
It’s like playing pool and getting all your balls in before the other person’s turn
It’s like watching the last pin fall for the strike
It’s like playing one song on two phones at the same exact time
It’s like not having any acne
It’s like having a perfect schedule on the first day of school
It’s like winning your freaking fantasy matchup by 1 last point

But this is what it feels like to play a note a few cents sharp or flat:
It’s like finding out that the last piece of the puzzle was eaten by your dog
It’s like opening your fridge and it being full of sticky, spilled orange juice
It’s like missing the half-court shot after it bounces on the rim for a minute
It’s like getting 100% on a test you didn’t study for but getting accused of cheating
It’s like finding that $20 but the person comes back and says that it’s theirs
It’s like burning all your papers, including your birth certificate that you used for show-and-tell
It’s like when the scary teacher says that you suck you right after they compliment you
It’s like when your real teacher still can’t get your name after a whole interim
It’s like getting those 11 likes, but no comments
It’s like Thor’s epic entrance, but The Avengers still losing
It’s like getting the notification that your package is coming, but you don’t get it for another
month
It’s like “helping” the teacher but the sound still doesn’t work
It’s like working out in the winter, so you can’t jump into that outdoor pool
It’s like pooling the 8 ball in before you’re allowed to
It’s like watching the last pin bobble around but stick straight back up
It’s like getting the phones and the song half a second off from each other
It’s like getting your first pimple
It’s like having the busiest counselor and not being able to change your schedule until the second
week
And it’s like losing by 48 points in the first week of fantasy freakin football
Out of tune notes suck, and since practicing sucks too, I’d just quit.
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